Here we go again. More questions about the dates. Why you mortals decided to play around with calendars at all is beyond me and, even when you did this, you couldn’t reach any agreement with each other. No wonder you get confused.

First of all so many of you had those fears about the world ending in the year of 1000, then it was the year 2000. Those nervous nellies may have noticed by now that the world is still here.

Let me explain the date to you. This is the year 2008 Gregorian, 3192 Erisian, and 6008 Illuminati. But keep in mind that to reach a millennium there is quite a lot of you who have to wait another 912 years Poundian, 784 years French Revolutionary, 572 lunar years (Islamic), or at least 37 years (Chinese). Please keep your calenders up to date.

Roman Calender

The Romans, better known for their book-keeping and mad Emperors, started the year on 1 March and counted 304 days or 10 months - Martius, Aprilis, Maius, Junius, Quintilis, Sextilis, September, October, November, and December. These 304 days were followed by an unnamed and unnumbered winter period. Not a bad idea at all. All sorts of things could (and did) happen during unnamed and unnumbered days and I believe there is a movement to bring this custom back.

Numa Pompilius introduced February and January (in that order) between December and March, increasing the length of the year to 354 or 355 days. (The very existence of Numa is disputed but I can assure you he was very much alive and well back then)

Then, in 450 BCE, February was moved to its current position between January and March. Are you still with me?

It was the duty of the priesthood to keep track of the calendars, but they often failed, partly due to ignorance and partly because they were bribed to make certain years long and other years short. This is also a custom that many people wish to resurrect.

The Romans were a practical people and decided to avoid some years altogether such as Leap Years and a few best forgotten years in times of crisis, such as during their Second Punic War.

The Julian calender

The Julian calendar was introduced by Julius Caesar in 45 BCE and was in common use until the late 1500s, when countries started changing to the Gregorian calendar. However, some countries (for example, Greece and Russia) used it into the early 1900s, and the Orthodox church in Russia still uses it.

In the Julian calendar, the year is approximated as 365 and 1/4 days = 365.25 days with 1 leap year every 4 years. This gives an error of 1 day in approximately 128 years.

The Gregorian calendar

So Pope Gregory XIII set about to correct the errors in the older Julian Calendar. In the Gregorian calendar, the year is approximated as 365.2425 days.

Are you ready for this?

Thus it takes approximately 3300 years to shift one day with respect to the Gregorian calendar. You manage this by having 97 leap years every 400 years.

The Chinese calendar

I don’t know why you don’t all adopt the Chinese calendar. I knew this one when I was still a young maid, before my transformation into a monster of myth.

The Chinese calculated this properly and it’s the longest chronological record in history, dating from 2637 BCE, when Emperor Huang Ti introduced the first cycle based on exact astronomical observations of the longitude of the sun and the phases of the moon.

Because it’s based on the cycles of the moon and subject to cyclical dating, the start of the year can fall anywhere between late January and the middle of February. A complete cycle takes 60 years and is made up of five cycles of 12 years each with animals used to represent those years. This makes excellent sense to me.

Modern China uses the Gregorian calendar for civil purposes, but the ancient calendar is used for determining festivals by Chinese communities around the world.